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Melissa Amateis's avatar

Wow. This post just hit me squarely in the chest. I'm GenX, too, and I still feel that heavy weight of needing to be desirable to men. Why? WHY? I am so tired of it. I look at my post-menopausal body and the fact that I can't lose weight and I want to cry. And it's deeply rooted in my need to be DESIRED BY MEN. And I'm so tired of it. My mom raised me that way - she was always fiddling with my outfits, encouraging me to "look cute" for boys. Even as an adult woman, she did it. I remember we were going out to lunch one day and I had on a comfortable bra, one that didn't push up my boobs, and she was like, "You should go put on a different bra. Your breasts are sagging." And I went and changed! Sigh. I'll be 50 next year. I desperately want to be comfortable in my own skin and let go of the need to be desired by men and to worry about the male gaze.

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